You know that feeling you get, like someone is behind you? But when you turn to look, there's nobody there?
I have a theory. A lot of you won't like it. But I was thinking about my relationship with God. And how it's difficult for me because I don't feel God. I don't have a sense of Him. For many people in my life, even though I can't pull up an image in my mind, I still have a sense of that person that I pull up. But I don't do that with God. When I think of God, the feeling is more like when someone mentions a name that I know, but I don't recall who it is.
It seems like most Christian folks (and non-) do have a sense of God. In fact, I get the impression that most Christians would say that they feel God's presence. I don't. And I'm used to that.
But here's the theory. What if you're all wrong?
OK, let me explain. See, I used to envy those who heard God clearly, until I came up with the theory that God doesn't communicate with me in any direct way because He simply chooses to deal with me differently. And maybe this is similar.
I do believe that God, on some occasions, chooses to communicate clearly to certain individuals. But I also think that sometimes (often?) people think they are hearing from God, when really they're just making it up, getting carried away by feelings or whatever. And I think most of you would agree with me, to some degree.
And now I'm wondering if the same can be said of feeling God's presence. I'm aware that there are times when God shows up so powerfully that people are actually bowled over. I don't doubt that God sometimes makes his presence felt. But I do have to wonder if sometimes (often? mostly?) people make it up for themselves. If they are projecting a feeling out of their minds. And maybe, not to toot my own horn, but because I'm wired differently, I don't project in that way.
I do believe in God. But recently I was trying to imagine what the universe would feel like if there was no God, and we were alone on this one pretty rock, spinning through space, doomed to eventually die and grow cold. Creepy. If I believed that, it would drain me and make me feel despair, because all of this would be pointless. And maybe that's why, consciously or not, so many of you project a feeling of God. Because it's so lonely and desolate without Him.
And maybe you just don't want to turn around to discover that there's nobody there.
I dunno. I could be wrong. Maybe you do feel Him. I don't know how, or which sense you would use. And I don't know why it would be that you would have a built-in sense to detect God's presence and I would not. But maybe. Or maybe it's a defense mechanism. Well, enjoy it. I can't.
