The Wheels on the Bus ...

When I was around 25, I had no car.  I'd been in a car accident and I'd let my insurance expire, so my year-old-but-now-totaled car was not going to be replaced.  I was working at a retail job, with no real hope of even saving up for a new car.  So I was in a good place.

I lived in Altadena and it would take me about 45 minutes to walk to work in Pasadena, so that was doable.  But on Wednesdays, I had to see my therapist in Glendale, so I had to take the bus.  My bus stop was the first one of that particular bus's line.  And when it got there, I would get on with maybe one or two other people.  And as the bus progressed, people would get on and off and the bus would slowly fill up.  And I noticed something interesting.  Every seat would fill up, and there would even be people standing in the aisles, before anyone would sit next to me.  Every week.  People would stand in the aisle, swinging around  with one hand on the railing and the other holding their 16 bags of groceries, rather than sit next to me.  Good thing I was going to therapy, right?

Once I noticed it there, I noticed it other places.  This phenomenon has followed me.  Not every single time, but a lot.  Classes?  Empty seats on either side of me.  Church?  My row is the last to fill up.  At my small group the other night, there was a ring of chairs, and every one of them was taken except - you guessed it - the one on either side of me.  And not only that, but one of the ones next to me was clearly a comfy chair as compared to the other available hard-backed chairs.  When this was pointed out to a woman who had just taken a seat, she did then move to the comfy chair next to me.  But she had to think about it.

I had this one friend at church, and when he would sit next to me, he would sit one seat over. I kid you not.  The whole church would fill up, the ushers would be asking people to scoot, and he'd still leave a chair between us.  So I told him the story of the bus, and he agreed it was odd.  Next week, my friend shows up and ...one seat over.  I asked him - 'Remember the story I told you about the bus?  About people not sitting next to me?'  'Yeah, what about it?'

So, what is it?  I bathe.  I know I have an acerbic personality, but it often happens before I've even said a word.  Maybe people just feel more more comfortable sitting next to Bill or Clive or the smelly, homeless man.  I dunno.

You might think this is perception bias.  Maybe I just notice WHEN it happens.  I don't think so.  You're not paranoid if people really are out to get you.  Mind you, I'm not saying people are out to get me ... they clearly don't want to be anywhere near me.