In defense of using the word 'Girl'

Like many guys, I often use the word 'girl', instead of 'woman'.  As in, 'I saw a cute girl' or 'Damn that girl is cute!' or 'Damn, girl!' (OK, I don't use that last one, because, due to an abnormality with my thumbs, I am unable to snap my fingers.)

I know there are some women who take offense at this.  As I understand it, the complaint is that using the term 'girl' infantilizes women.  As in a boss telling a woman that she's not as good at business because she's 'just a girl'.

But that comment could just as easily be 'just a woman'.  The problem is the tone or idea behind it.  Right?  And I don't think of women as inferior, so that's not a sentence I would ever say.  Frankly, it's hard for me to imagine anyone saying that these days, but maybe I just don't know those people.  Or because I don't work in an advertising firm in the 1960's.

But, the next question is, do I mean something different when I say woman or girl?  Yes, I do.  Here's how I kinda categorize it.  If I'm talking in general or in a professional way, I will tend to use 'woman'.  If I'm talking in a more casual way, it will often be 'girl'.  But there is more to it.  Because while I don't think I'm infantilizing women, there is a qualitative difference.  And I think it's that 'girl' implies youthfulness.  Not necessarily childish, but youthful and playful.  There are cute girls and attractive women.  Girls are still girlish, in the same way that guys are still boyish (although that can play out differently for each gender).  So, in that sense, if a woman is in her 50's and I call her a girl, it's very much a compliment, because I'm seeing her as still youthful and vital.  And not that leaving girlishness behind and becoming more mature is a bad thing, either - both are good.  But everyone, man or woman, grows more mature over time (one hopes).  Still, I actually have great respect for people who know when not to act their age.  Possibly because they're coming down to my level.

So how come we say 'guys' for men and 'girls' for women?  Probably because it used to be guys and dolls, but 'doll' feels outdated (not to mention quite a bit more sexist than 'girl').  And because the English language is weird that way.  We also drive on parkways and park on driveways, but only Steven Wright is upset about that.

I suppose some other arguments could be made.  Like how using it is perpetuating the male-dominated patriarchy.  Or how it's about calling women what they want to be called, or how if some people find it offensive, then everyone should just change.  But the question is, do I really care, if people are just looking to be offended?  Because, if you know me, I think you know I'm a good guy and I'm not infantilizing women.  If anything, I generally think men are more likely to act in a childish manner. 

So, I'll try not to use the word 'girl' in professional situations.  How's about you give me a little grace and benefit of the doubt and see that I'm actually being complimentary and descriptive in what, to me, is a positive way?  As in, 'Damn, girl!  You are looking fine!'  Nope, still can't pull that off.