Something Suddenly Came Up

Something I learned watching the Brady Bunch back in the day - it's rude to break off plans without giving a real reason.

Marcia is excited to go to the dance with Doug, BMOC (Big Man On Campus).  But when she gets hit in the nose with a football ("Mom always said, don't play ball in the house!"), Doug begs off, telling Marcia, "Something suddenly came up."

It's portrayed as the cool kid thinking he can do whatever he wants, even being rude by not giving a real reason for breaking the date.  And I agree that it's rude.  Have you ever had someone break off their plans with you without giving a reason?  "Sorry, our plans changed."  That's not an explanation!

In my book, if you make plans with someone, you follow through.  There are exceptions, of course.  If someone is in the hospital, it is acceptable to break your plans - an emergency is a valid reason to cancel.  I also think it's OK to change your plans if a MUCH better offer comes along.  Not just any offer, but something you can't do at any other time.  If you had dinner plans with a friend, and another friend comes up with tickets to see your favorite band, that's understandable.  But even then, I would call the person I had plans with, and ask if I could be excused or if we could reschedule, and I would explain about the event that came up.  Because, the way I was raised, you don't just change your plans willy-nilly, and you try to treat people with respect.

To break plans with someone, and not tell them why, is rude.  Look, I'm understanding.  I have, on occasion, had better things come up.  But I touch base with the person I'm cancelling on and make sure it's cool.  Because that's what proper, civilized people do.