I was at Office Depot today. While in line, the woman in front of me took a corkboard bulletin board out of her cart and set it on the ground a few feet away. Apparently she didn't want it. Thirty seconds later, a guy walking into the line tripped over it. What I wanted to do was pick up the item and carry it to the counter and say to the clerk (in earshot of the woman), "Hi! I'm not buying this. This lady here left it on the floor over there, instead of putting back or just giving it to one of you. Then that gentleman tripped over it. I'm pointing this out in the hope that in the future she'll display the tiniest amount of consideration for others."
I didn't say that. After I left the store, I wrestled with whether it would have been worth it or not. The thing is, we're not an honor/shame based society. Most likely she would feel no shame. To her, I'd just be the jerk who made her feel bad.
In general, it seems counter-productive to shame people. I think people choose to change themselves (if at all) when they are in a place of security, not when they're feeling bad about themselves. But surely some sense of shame or the desire to avoid feeling shame is healthy?
In reading about Confucius, it sounds like the society he was trying to change was a lot like ours. A sense of individuality had been awakened, and individuals were more and more just doing what they wanted for themselves, instead of favoring the family or community. In the Bible you read about times when each person does what is right in their own eyes - again sounding like where we're at today. And not too long ago, you had to be plugged into a community just to get by, and therefore had to go along with the societal norms so as not to be excluded. But this has been replaced by, 'Don't judge me!'
Shame and honor no longer keep people in check. Folks decide what is right and wrong for themselves, without considering a higher power. And people are free to cut themselves off from the community around them. It's a shame.
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