These people were known as the Anachondrians, and they looked a lot like you, only rather rainbow-hued. And they loved their math. They'd have lively parties where they'd engage in advanced calculus and trigonometry and several other types of mathematics that you couldn't begin to understand. Bob would often join them at these parties, and they'd spend all night doing calculations and coming up with new formulas.
Bob was pleased with himself and how well his people were getting on. So he decided to do it again. He picked a new planet in a different galaxy, and created the Shrouds. This was a race of intelligent gasses. And they were the sneakist of the sneaky! They invited Bob to join them on spy adventures and covert operations. Oh, it was exciting, and Bob had a marvelous time with them, as well.
So, Bob kept making new peoples, each one special and unique. One was a quartet of giant felines (so big the planet was almost too small for them) with amazing, poofy tails, that mostly lazed in the sun all day. Another was a dragon made of water that had 18 heads and pondered philosophy for hours on end. In all, Bob created 100 planets in 86 galaxies, and he had the best time bouncing from one world to another, hanging out with all of his creations.
One day Bob was visiting the Stak (androids with a hive-mind with beautiful voices and penchant for musicals), when his assistant, Angus McFoodle, popped in to report a problem. Which caught Bob by surprise, because up until now there had been no problems. Each group of people Bob had created was getting along fine, both among themselves and with their creator. But Angus reported that on planet 39, the Blergs were not doing so well.
Okay, Bob wasn't completely surprised. He knew if there was going to be a problem, it would probably be with the Blergs, as he'd given them quite a lot of free will. Added to that, their life-cycle could be a little confusing. The Blergs had three lives: Pre-life, Mid-Life, and the Afterlife. Pre-Life seemed fairly straightforward - grow up, eat your vegetables, listen to your parents, figure out what kind of stuff you're into, and do that. Mid-Life occurred after the Blergs had lived 70-80 years. They would die and go to a place called The Waiting Room, where they could sit and drink root beer or coffee or what have you, and have deep conversations about poetry and the meaning of life. Or, if they preferred, they could play video games. And all that Bob asked was that they would take turns sitting on the Throne of Blergness while they all hung out and waited for the Afterlife.
The Afterlife was something all of Bob's people had in common. Once each people had had a good long go-round on their respective planets, Bob was going to gather them all together for the biggest party ever! He was so excited to see how the Shrouds would interact with the Amarm-a-mamoulles. Or to watch the Papi-Papu exchange recipes with the dinner eaters from Rahnduva. It was all very exciting, and it would be the party to end all parties, inasmuch as it would go on forever.
But now the Blergs were throwing a wrench into Bob's plans. The problem started in Pre-Life. Apparently, the Blergs, instead of taking the time to know and love and appreciated each other, were growing self-involved. Each one only interacted with others when they needed to, and even then they could get quite snippy. And the situation only got worse in The Waiting Room. Instead of interacting, the Blergs each retired to their own room and played video games, and never spoke to each other anymore. And because they weren't on speaking terms, there was no way to work out a schedule for sitting on the Throne of Blergness, so nobody did.
Well, this would not do. Not only was it unhealthy behavior, it was downright anti-social, and would put a huge damper on the party.
So, Bob went down there and tried to explain to them that they needed to change. And that's when Bob discovered another problem. Most of the Blergs couldn't hear him. They'd become so self-involved that their ear canals had changed over time to tune him out.
Fortunately, a few of the Blergs could still hear him. So, Bob explained the situation to them and sent them as his ambassadors. And each time Bob sent one of these ambassadors, the rest of the Blergs would come out of their houses and start talking to each other for a while. But then they'd get sick of each other and start to bicker and fight and go back home alone.
Bob tried and tried to get the Blergs to change their behavior, but it wasn't working. So, Bob came up with a new plan. He created a machine and called it the Blergian De-Selfinator, and he installed in The Waiting Room, next to the Throne. This machine would suck the selfishness right out of every single Blerg. All it needed was for one Blerg to hop onto the Throne to power it up (it could only be powered by a Blerg).
And then Bob did something quite unexpected - he split himself in two. One part he called Bo, and the other part he called Ob. Bo stayed where he was, to oversee operations, while Ob turned himself into a Blerg. And Ob went down and lived among the Blerg. He grew up and ate his vegetables and listened to his Blergian parents and then became a famous movie star. And when he'd become quite famous, he went on the Blerg equivalent of Oprah and explained that he was really Bob. And he explained that he wasn't angry, but that he was there to help them all out by sitting on the Throne of Blergness for them.
The Blerg were not impressed. In fact, they thought Ob was quite full of himself. So they killed him. Which suited Ob just fine. He died and went to The Waiting Room, and plopped himself down on the Throne, and sucked all of the selfishness out of all of the Blerg there.
When that happened, the Blerg there were ecstatic. They'd never been very happy in their selfish state, and now they were free to interact with each other and with Ob. Life was back the way it should be. And each and every Blerg from then on, when they died and went to the Mid-Life, was shocked to find themselves in a whole new way.
That's pretty much the story of Bob. Eventually, they got around to that Afterlife party, and it was one for the record books. The Creampuff Puffers of Dandeloss were a special hit, as all of the other guests could eat them for dessert and and not worry about calories (it's okay, the Puffers regenerate as fast as they're eaten)! But everyone like the Blerg the best, as they were so friendly and engaging and seemed to flit about the party making sure everyone else was having a good time. And everyone lived happily ever after.
The End
Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. - Luke 15: 3-7
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