You're Monologing when you should be Dialoging

My Geeky Friend,

So, I wanted to bring something up, and I hope you'll be receptive to it.  See, I really enjoy hanging out with you.  95% of the time, we talk and laugh and discuss the things we enjoy and have in common.  But once in a while you shift into a different mode, and it kinda makes everyone else feel awkward.

You start monologing.

We were having a nice conversation, but then you got all ramped up and excited about a particular topic, and now you're going on and on and the rest of us are just a captive audience, looking around, wondering how long you'll keep going.

Look, I get it.  You've got things that you're passionate about - that's part of makes you a geek.  That is, in fact, part of why we all like you and enjoy having you around.  But, as your friend, I'm asking you to work on being more aware of what's going on around you.  Because if you've been the only one talking for the past 5 minutes, then that means everyone else has been shut down and has to sit quietly until you're done.

Perhaps you think that someone could interrupt or talk at the same time.  Maybe that's how it worked in your family.  All I can tell you is that I won't do that.  I don't tend to interrupt much in conversations, because I was taught that it's rude.  Yes, I will sometimes interrupt if I have something I feel is pertinent, and there's a certain ebb and flow to a conversation - I get that.  But if you're going on about a topic that I have no interest in or know nothing about, there's no opportunity to jump in.  Because what am I going to do?  Ask a question that keeps you going even longer?  Or completely change the topic?  Shut you out?  I don't want to do that.  I don't want to make you feel bad.

So, what I need you to do ... what I'd like you to do ... is just be a little more self-aware.  For example, don't just talk to the group at large, look at specific people while you're talking and gauge if they're tracking with you, or maybe avoiding your gaze.  Or practice thinking through what you're going to say, in a succinct manner, before you say it.

I feel weird even bringing this up, and I hope you'll receive it in a constructive, positive light.  Because we all really do enjoy your company.  It's just that once in a while thing.  And hey, I've got my flaws, too, and maybe one of them is that I need to be more patient.  So, just take it for what it's worth.